I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize