woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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