White coat. Heels.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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