Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
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Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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