Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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