you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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