Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize