i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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