that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize