I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize