as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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