you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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