Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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