I just made out with a guy for $7.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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