my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize