He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize