piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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