Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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