i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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