she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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