haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize