Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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