I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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