I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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