I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize