this beer tastes like vomit already
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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