to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize