lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize