nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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