and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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