This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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