it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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