It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize