I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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