So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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