I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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