im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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