No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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