he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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