we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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