the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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