Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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