HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize