My underwear smells like fireworks.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize