also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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