i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize