Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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