If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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