we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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