that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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